The Castle That Once Held the Wind Perched on the weather-torn cliffs of County Clare, Ireland, Doonagore Castle is not the largest, nor the most illustrious of Ireland’s medieval fortresses, but it contains within its round tower walls an allegorical density that few other castles possess. Often overshadowed by its showier cousins—Trim, Bunratty, or the…
Category: Castle stories
Behind every battlement lies a bruise. Castle Stories is a surreal chronicle of real historical castles — from forgotten forts to flamboyant follies — that have endured centuries of siege, betrayal, and now, busloads of selfie-stick tourists. Each story begins with serious, richly researched history, then crumbles delightfully into absurdity, revealing the tragicomic fate of these once-proud structures in the age of digital tourism.
These are tales of mayonnaise-cleanings, baguette-duels in great halls, and the last defense of the architectural spirit: a mysterious T-shirt.
Read them for the history. Stay for the madness.
The Fortress Where Ice Remembers
The Castle Where the Glaciers Remember In the wind-scraped extremities of northern Scotland, where the Sea of the Hebrides claws at mossy rock like some ancient penitent, stands Kilchurn Castle—what remains of it, at least. Stark and crumbled on a small rocky peninsula at the northeastern tip of Loch Awe, Kilchurn is a singular vestige…
The Castle That Believed It Was a Fortress
The Castle That Mistook Itself for a Fortress Perched upon a hill above the tranquil town of Český Krumlov in the South Bohemian Region of the Czech Republic lies a structure of such theatrical grandeur that it is as much Renaissance opera as it is military bastion. The Český Krumlov Castle, founded in the 13th…
The Fortress That Dreamed of Quiet
The Castle That Dreamed of Silence High atop the stony ridges of the Carpathian Mountains, commanding a sheer drop into the valley of the Argeș River in what is now southern Romania, stands the brooding fortress of Poenari Castle—a ruin as overlooked by tourists as it was once feared by invaders. Built not for the…
The Castle Whose Fangs Recall Blood
The Castle Whose Teeth Remember Blood Perched incisively upon the jagged limestone cliffs of central Slovakia, Čachtice Castle—originally Csejte vár—glares down upon the Váh river valley like a molar worn down by centuries of political grinding. Built in the mid-13th century as part of Hungary’s defensive ring against the Mongol invasions, the castle was, in…
Fortress of the Nine Mute Bells
Castle of the Nine Silent Bells Deep inside the Zuid-Limburg hills of the Netherlands, nestled among undulating farmland and creeping ivy vines, stands Valkenburg Castle: the only genuine hilltop castle in the country, a paradox in a land best known for being flatter than the theological arguments of an 18th-century Dutch Protestant. Valkenburg Castle—Kasteelruïne Valkenburg…
The Castle That Refused to Die
The Castle That Forgot to Die Perched on the rugged cliffs of Aberdeenshire, Scotland, crumbling yet defiant against the sea’s ceaseless roar, Dunnottar Castle remains one of the British Isles’ most evocative ruins. Though tourists often confuse its silhouette with the likes of Tintagel or Eilean Donan, Dunnottar is neither fantasy nor fabrication. It is…
The Castle That Lost Its Name
The Castle that Forgot Its Name Perched above the turbulent confluence of the Rivers Neretva and Radobolja, in the sultry heart of Herzegovina, stands the fortress of Stari Grad Blagaj. Unlike the polished postcard palaces of Bavarian fantasy, Blagaj Fortress has no fairytale pretense. It is limestone and silence, built not for romance but for…
The Stony Sorrow of Himeji Castle
The Stone Despair of Himeji Castle Perched on the rugged hills of Hyōgo Prefecture like a frozen crane mid-flight, Himeji Castle reigns as one of Japan’s most enduring architectural marvels. It is not merely a fortress of white plaster and precise eaves, but a literary testament to ambition, strategy, and the illusion of permanence. Construction…
The Castle Whose Stones Remember Speech
The Castle Whose Stones Remember Language Perched upon the storied hills of Slovakia’s Little Carpathians, not far from the vineyards of Modra and the whispering woods of Pezinok, stands Červený Kameň — the Red Stone Castle. Built initially as a wooden fortification in the 13th century, it was reconstructed in stone between 1530 and 1557…
The Fortress That Wept Through Its Gargoyles
The Castle that Wept Through Its Gargoyles Perched with a melancholic grandeur on a ridge in Northumberland, Alnwick Castle is no stranger to the passage of centuries. Founded shortly after the Norman conquest in 1096 by Yves de Vescy, a feudal baron of some merit and mud-caked ambition, the castle began as a straightforward motte-and-bailey….
The Castle That Wished to Be Left in Peace
The Castle That Dreamed of Being Left Alone Perched above the churning confluence of the Morava and Váh rivers in western Slovakia stands Beckov Castle: a crumbling yet defiant relic of the 13th century, whose limestone bones have yet to surrender entirely to time. It looms like the final tooth in some long-decayed royal jaw,…