My critics are right. I am a conspiracy theorist. That is because I have no desire to pay money for reliable news that is copied and pasted by an ANP robot that was bought by DarkPharma through an intermediary 4 years ago. There seem to be people who are willing to pay for that, just as there seem to be people who vote for D66 or VVD. And I have to get something off my chest, I can’t help it: do these people really exist? Because I don’t know of any, but on the other hand there are hardly any meat eaters left, while the figures show that we are eating more meat than ever.

So let me try again: isn’t the person who believes in VVD voters a conspiracy theorist? Surely they have long since ceased to exist? But… but… they are inexplicably there at every election. And we know from abroad that democracy is an autocrat who manages to get a narrow majority. Trump, Biden, Erdogan, Putin, Kim Yung Un. A succession of modern democratic heroes.

With friends like that, of course, you don’t need enemies, so I understand my opponents. Map coronacritics with the army, not the police, with the army. Because you just want to keep a democracy comfortable without too much backlash.

When I saw videos from the Tweede Kamer last week of Pieter Omtzigt facing a wall of D66/VVD incomprehension about his irrelevance as a member of parliament – it radiates from them, you don’t matter at all, Pieter. That’s progress, realising that democracy has grown so big that we can no longer reach it.

It doesn’t matter who blew up the pipeline. What matters is that we all think and act the same. The fact that there were 100 virologists on MH17 is typically one of those facts that I can’t make sense of. I can remember a time when I used to read the newspaper. I did it to get free coffee in the library when I was a bum. And then you would sit in that library and read about worlds full of important people, or yes, you would scan it a bit, and then you would always go back to the letters that were sent in.

And then there was never anybody to say, “Gosh, your nose is wrong, deadbeat!

And then you had a cup of coffee and a literary magazine, they still existed in those days. But even in those literary magazines, all the noses were in the same direction, because you didn’t want to think that there was anyone in there who didn’t want to be a modern hero.

My critics are right. I just don’t like reliable news very much, just as I don’t like reliable people who are always smiling.The fact that the same people are still standing around ten years later saying sorrie sorrie sorrie sorrie is a nice ritual by which society shows that the human dimension has not yet been lost.

Do you know what Saint Peter will say to these people when they reach the Gate of heaven? He will say: ‘Covfefe.’ That’s the reliable password for the reliable place where you can spend eternity with reliable partners.

Don’t worry – I wont be there. I don’t deserve such placings – and I do not even regret that. I belong in hell where I will burn with all satisfaction. So, do not worry, you Woke With Jesus bunch – my annoying presence will be very, very temporary.

Martinus 25-02-2023

the debate of the century!

By their shhhroom shall ye know them

M.H.H. Benders is a most recognised poet of his generation, a student of the universal mycelia,  Amanita Sage and mycophilosopher. He wrote sixteen books, the last ones at the Kaneelfabriek (Cinnamon Factory). He is currently working on ‘SHHHHHHROOM a book on mushrooms and the Microdose Bible, which is an activation plan to restore your true identity coming next year. Keep in touch!

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