This article is based on this Dutch article of Martijn Benders.

Atrocious Bad Taste

Where? At Lowlands.

Rarely have I heard a band sing so out of tune in such an infantile manner. No, I have never been to Lowlands. I prefer to avoid such orgies of mass animation, but this year I took a quick look to see if it might be something I’d want to show Mavi.

The answer is, of course: No, over my dead body. Maybe a visit to Zwarte Cross or Ruigoord would be better. Or to Wonderwood next year, but not to this… what is this, really? This is the plastic soup of music. Mavi wouldn’t be happy with this; she has very good taste in music. Apparently, we can’t say the same about the Dutch.

I saw people hacking at healthy trees like maniacs at Lowlands

What we can indeed say about the Dutch is that abusing trees seems to have become a ‘tradition’ at events like Lowlands. “I saw people hacking at healthy trees like maniacs at Lowlands.” Yes, of course, this is all allowed in the Netherlands, as a tree is not a living legal person, not a being to which you can assign a lawyer. No, ripping the limbs off an animal—that constitutes abuse, but trees? They can’t feel pain, according to the outdated science of the 1950s.

If you enjoy the music played at these kinds of festivals, you must indeed be a bit possessed. But possessed by what? It’s unlikely to be a shrewd little devil; some subtlety is required for that. Possessed by the Spirit of Sugar and Yeast? That’s more like it. But let’s be honest, it’s only complete if you stir in a big cauldron of plastic soup, a dash of glyphosate, and some PFOAs.

So no, Stefan Egberts can fret about the Orgy of Destruction—is he a Putin sympathizer or perhaps a conspiracy theorist? Because doesn’t the arms race go hand in hand with the disposal fee? Together for a better world. A world full of trees that were made for my generation, the Festival Culture generation. I was there tearing apart a tree, laughing—what a tradition. Our way of life, which always comes under fire as soon as something happens.

The Show Must Go On.

As a possessed individual with delusions of grandeur, I have a new title for my next poetry collection:

After two rounds through the upscaler, a new author’s name arises: Martiun Eenders.

Let’s see if the neocons will find that normal.

Martiun Eenders, 24-08-2024