With this test, designed by me, we are going to test how much psyborg you have. From the results, you will be able to see if you have a problem and then figure out how to solve it. Complete the test, email me the results and I will let you know what percentage of psyborg you have. But beware: brutal honesty is the only thing that will give a good result.

Question 1:

As a small child, did you have nightmares in which evil entities played a role?

A) Yes
B) No
C) Don’t remember
D) I still have them regularly

Question 2:

How often on an average day do you get a signal from your nose that you smell something?

A) A few times a day
B) Very few times my nose is usually blocked
C) I smoke and smell little
D) 10 times a day
E) 100 times a day
F) 1000 times a day

Question 3:

How useful are you to society?

A) I try my best to be useful but I don’t always succeed
B) I think I am one of the most useful people in my circle of friends
C) I have always fulfilled my social duties, but how useful I am is nobody’s business.
D) Eh?
E) Society is a collective hallucination that needs to become useful itself.

Question 4:

How many times a day do you spontaneously become ecstatic?

A) Eh?
B) Sometimes when I hear a piece of music I can get lost in it.
C) I do not need such things, people have to stick to the rules.
D) A few times a day I get completely ecstatic without having a rational explanation for it
E) Like D, but 100 times a day

Question 5 (Open question):

How many kinds of ecstasy do you know? Count them and name them.

Question 6:

When you want to know if something is true, what exactly do you do?

A) I’m going to think up an experiment and carry it out to test it
B) Just google it and see what others think
C) I have my own truth and don’t need an external truth
D) Eh?
E) I’m going to read a series of books on the subject

Question 7:

How much free time do you have available in a day?

A) I am really very busy. But I make sure I still have time for relaxation, for my game or doing something fun with the family.
B) I would say that about 30% of my day consists of available free time.
C) I am my own boss. I can decide for myself what I do, except when I have an assignment.
D) I have seas and seas of time, every day.
E) All time is free, but you fill it in with your responsibilities.

Question 8: (Open question)

Do you have a mental illness? If yes describe it and if no describe why you do not have a mental illness.

Question 9:

How safe would you say your lifestyle has been in the past?

A) I like some risk. But if something is in the orange zone then it stops for me.
B) Dangerous? I’ll do that in my coffin.
C) I led a reckless life as a teenager, and then I lost my wild hair and settled down and now I have a reasonably safe existence
D) I’m a daredevil: mountain climbing, bungee jumping, skydiving, I seek it out on purpose, even at my age
E) I seek danger in the form of alcohol, cigarettes or other narcotics.
F) I believe in ‘smart danger’ and only do something if I can rationally justify why it is the best option.

Question 10:

If you have a ‘difficult writer’ like e.g. Gombrovicz or Schulz, do you read a book:

A) effortlessly in one go
B) I read a page with great difficulty and then put the book away to play games for a while
C) I never read
D) I only read literature that is as comprehensible as possible
E) Why are you trying to dictate what I should read? I am a master of my own time.
F) I read a few pages and then I have so many impressions that I have to process it first.

Question 11:

What is the meaning of life?

A) Becoming good at what I do. Training, training and training again.
B) Life is mainly about becoming yourself and being happy.
C) To bring about political change so that future generations can have a better life.
D) Heh, that’s an impossible question to answer.
E) I’m never very much into philosophy
F) Other, namely:

Question 12:

How often do you see a new colour that you have never seen before?

A) ???? you know all the colours when you’re two years old, what a crazy question.
B) I marvel all day at colours I have never seen before.
C) Very occasionally it happens to me, but usually when I have eaten mushrooms.
D) I am colour blind
E) I’ve seen everything, of course, but I can re-appreciate what I’ve seen
appreciate for the intensity or beauty of the colour.

Question 13:

How often does it happen that you don’t know where you are and who you are?

A) Fortunately I am never that demented
B) I have it very occasionally when I just wake up and it’s a very scary feeling
C) I have it regularly, for example in strange places and I usually panic.
D) I have it several times a day and I’m used to it.
E) I have to think very hard about this question.

If you want the result in a percentage, then mail the answers to the above questions
in a mail to me, m.benders(at)gmail(dot)com in that format:

1 A 2C …etc and as subject: Psyborg test

I will then let you know for how much % you were occupied by the Psyborg.