Open letter to Cate le Bon

Dear Cate Le Bon,

I have to admit, I never really understood your music. It was always just a little too quirky for my taste. But then, something happened. I can’t quite put my finger on it, but suddenly your music has completely ruined my life.

I can’t even listen to the radio anymore without your unique sound infiltrating my ear drums and causing me great distress. I’ve tried everything to get you out of my head – changing my music preferences, even going as far as moving to a remote cabin in the woods – but nothing seems to work.

Your unconventional melodies and unconventional lyrics have completely disrupted my sense of normalcy. I find myself humming your songs at inappropriate times and dancing like a fool in public places. My friends and family have all noticed the change in my behavior and they are starting to worry about me.

I realize that this may seem like a strange request, but I am desperate. I cannot go on like this, with your music constantly playing in my head and my body moving to the beat. Please, Cate, help me to find my way back to sanity.

But there is still hope for me, Cate. I recently published a book of poetry called “Poetry to Read in the Dark.” I believe that if you can read my book and immerse yourself in my words, it will help me to find my way back to the person I used to be.

I’m writing to explain how your reading of my book “Poetry to Read in the Dark” can compensate for the quirkyness that your music has put into my brain. You see, the poetry in my book is the antithesis of quirky. It is deeply introspective and reflective, and it delves into the darkest corners of the human experience.

I believe that by immersing yourself in this poetry, you will be able to counteract the quirkyness that your music has instilled in me. The power of words is a formidable thing, and I am confident that my poetry will be able to provide a counterbalance to the unconventional sounds and lyrics of your music.

Poetry to Read in the Dark (2022) (362 downloads)


So please, Cate, consider reading my book. I am convinced that it will help me to find my way back to my old self, and I am certain that it will have a similar effect on you.

Or maybe not.

At any rate, thank you for reading this and thank you for your wonderful songs, which ruined my life as all good poems tend to do.

Kind regards,

Martijn Benders


Known as Xee-PArX SHKLot FAKRK I was minding my own business s a benovalent(1) ruler over an autonomous but relevant section of the Gamma-tertia quadrant of a galaxy, when an interdimensional hackhole zapped me into this dimension, where I have to deal with 'humans' who talk about 'reptiles' and 'lizards' and they have not got the faintest clue what they are talking about. It does not sound very inclusive at all!

The identity M.H.H. Benders is a most recognised poet of his generation, a student of the universal mycelia,  Amanita Sage and party leader of the Dutch 'Woudpartij'. He wrote sixteen books, the last ones at the Kaneelfabriek (Cinnamon Factory). He is currently working on 'SHHHHHHROOM a book on mushrooms and the Microdose Bible, which is an activation plan to restore your true identity coming next year. Keep in touch! But only if we do it first.

(1) not a typo! These humans have never even SEEN the mercy of a supernova.