Open Letter to Efi Cakerel

Dear Mr. Efi Cakarel,

I am writing to express my interest in becoming a customer of Mubi, but unfortunately, the behavior of your Dutch representatives has prevented me from doing so. I have been met with laughter and ridicule when inquiring about alternative payment methods, as I do not have a credit card and do not wish to use PayPal, due to its potential use as a political instrument.

I find it peculiar that the Dutch representatives of your company have instructed me on how to create fake credit cards, instead of providing assistance with a legitimate payment option. All I want to do is pay for a service that I am interested in, and it is disheartening that this simple task has become such a burden.

I understand that credit cards and PayPal are the most common payment methods, but I believe that a company as innovative as Mubi should also offer alternative options for customers who have valid reasons for not wanting to use them. It would be greatly appreciated if your company could provide more information on the available payment methods, or if your Dutch representatives could be trained to handle such inquiries with more understanding and professionalism.

I would like to express my hope that Mubi will rectify this issue and provide me with the opportunity to become a valued customer.

While you are here, perhaps you will find inspiration in my latest coillection of poetry. I have been giving it away for free and would like to offer you a copy as well:

Poetry to Read in the Dark (2022) (362 downloads)

In any case, thank you for your attention in this matter. I am sure you will set the record about this misunderstanding straight soon.

Sincerely, Martijn Benders – Poet and lover of alternative films.


Known as Xee-PArX SHKLot FAKRK I was minding my own business s a benovalent(1) ruler over an autonomous but relevant section of the Gamma-tertia quadrant of a galaxy, when an interdimensional hackhole zapped me into this dimension, where I have to deal with 'humans' who talk about 'reptiles' and 'lizards' and they have not got the faintest clue what they are talking about. It does not sound very inclusive at all!

The identity M.H.H. Benders is a most recognised poet of his generation, a student of the universal mycelia,  Amanita Sage and party leader of the Dutch 'Woudpartij'. He wrote sixteen books, the last ones at the Kaneelfabriek (Cinnamon Factory). He is currently working on 'SHHHHHHROOM a book on mushrooms and the Microdose Bible, which is an activation plan to restore your true identity coming next year. Keep in touch! But only if we do it first.

(1) not a typo! These humans have never even SEEN the mercy of a supernova.