Open letter to Nick Cave

Nick, I write this letter to you in utter desperation. Can you stop selling souvenirs on the internet just for a tiny moment and listen to my cause?

What turned you into this souvenir-seller, Nick, think about it. You used to be a songwriter, damn it.
You are a person that knows his classics. I am sure you could recite John Prine’s Souvenirs straight from the top of your head and I know you are great fan of the poet John Berryman:

Memories, they can’t be boughten
They can’t be won at carnivals for free
Well it took me years to get those souvenirs
And I don’t know how they slipped away from me

Now, as it happens, I also love Berryman. But how did Berrymans work or the work of so many other poets slip away from you, Nick? I just made my first English collection and wanted to send it to you,
it’s free, it’s beautiful – but guess what? You dont have a poet communication channel as the people who set up these celebrities do so with completely insane design.

Nick, here it is, download it, read it:

Poetry to Read in the Dark (2022) (362 downloads)

And…only if you really really like it, drop me a line, if you feel so kind. I promise I will buy one of your great souvenirs.

Kind regards,

Martinus Benders


Known as Xee-PArX SHKLot FAKRK I was minding my own business s a benovalent(1) ruler over an autonomous but relevant section of the Gamma-tertia quadrant of a galaxy, when an interdimensional hackhole zapped me into this dimension, where I have to deal with 'humans' who talk about 'reptiles' and 'lizards' and they have not got the faintest clue what they are talking about. It does not sound very inclusive at all!

The identity M.H.H. Benders is a most recognised poet of his generation, a student of the universal mycelia,  Amanita Sage and party leader of the Dutch 'Woudpartij'. He wrote sixteen books, the last ones at the Kaneelfabriek (Cinnamon Factory). He is currently working on 'SHHHHHHROOM a book on mushrooms and the Microdose Bible, which is an activation plan to restore your true identity coming next year. Keep in touch! But only if we do it first.

(1) not a typo! These humans have never even SEEN the mercy of a supernova.