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Reimagining the Linda: A Literary Exploration of the LindaWaveCannon

Posted on December 23, 2024 by admin

This article is based on this Dutch article of Martijn Benders

Exactly.
They want to dissolve into you, Linda.
Done.
Infernal bright railway.
Dieter.
My name is Hare.
The shell
Waste your youth.
Squander your youth.
Lonely lovers.

Ten songs for the Stoss album are finished. I’m aiming for thirteen tracks, as I find thirteen a beautiful number. I already have thirteen songs, but there are about ten of them that I don’t think are good enough for the record. An outcome of immersing myself so fully in “Germanness” was that a spinoff emerged: entirely German songs appeared that, while excellent as German songs, didn’t fit within the Stoss style. Dieter, true to his enormous ego, has included those on a solo album.

I’m thrilled that there’s also a Linda song on the album, because New Wave without Linda is unimaginable for me. This, of course, stems from me being brainwashed by Frank Boeijen.

My Linda song doesn’t compare to that of Boeijen, naturally, but as a Linda song it’s still a fitting addition to the existing Lindawave canon, I think—otherwise, I wouldn’t have included it on the album.

Dieter’s spinoff now has six songs that we deemed good enough. I’m currently listening to Ludwig, meine Bube ist schmutzig and think that one might make the cut too—so that’s seven. The shorter version of the Komapolka as well? Or Bratkartoffeln? The latter is arguably more in the Stoss style, but having some charming and credible crossover would be fun.

(The second half of Bratkartoffeln is really strong, I just need to cut off the first half.)

Alright, alright, Benders watched too much *Sendung mit der Maus* as a child. Still, I find this project much more difficult than the *Berry Lee Berry* project. Why? Not because of the German essence—that actually suits me—but because New Wave is, somehow, a challenging music form. You might expect the opposite, thinking it’s an inherently simple style, but perhaps that’s precisely why. It’s easy to create something that sounds like many other songs, and that’s exactly what you want to avoid.

After these two albums, I’ve definitely earned a vacation.

Dieter dances his Krautdance, a genre I invented during this period of work, alongside the Brabowelle.

Kind regards,
Martinus Benders

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Category: Psychosupersum

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Castles Get Kicked in the Bricks each Summer

Let’s face it: some backpacks just carry your stuff. This one tells your entire life philosophy in one ridiculous, multilingual joke. Imagine strolling into a museum, a bus stop, or your ex's new wedding—with a bag that declares, in ten languages, that castles are always the losers of summer.

Why? Because deep down, you know:

  • Tourists always win.
  • History has a sense of humor.
  • And you, my friend, are not carrying your lunch in just any nylon sack—you’re carrying it in a medieval meltdown on your shoulders.

This backpack says:

  • “I’ve been to four castles, hated three, and got kicked out of one for asking where the dragons were.”
  • “I appreciate heritage sites, but I also think they could use a bit more slapstick.”
  • “I’m cute, I’m moopish, and I will absolutely picnic on your parapet.”

It’s absurd.
It’s philosophical.
It holds snacks.

In short, it’s not just a backpack—it’s a mobile monument to glorious collapse.

And honestly? That’s what summer’s all about.

Philosophy thirts

Feeling surveilled? Alienated by modernity? Accidentally started explaining biopolitics at brunch again? Then it’s time to proudly declare your loyalties (and your exhaustion) with our iconic “I’m with Fuckold” shirt.

This tee is for those who’ve:

  • Said “power is everywhere” in a non-BDSM context.
  • Tried to explain Discipline and Punish to their cat.
  • Secretly suspect the panopticon is just their neighbour with binoculars.

Wearing this shirt is a cry of love, rebellion, and post-structural despair. It says:
“Yes, I’ve read Foucault. No, I will not be okay.”

Stay tuned for more philosophical shirts and backpacks, as we at Benders are working on an entire collection that will make even the ghost of Hegel raise an eyebrow.

Curious about the intersections between poetry, philosophy, and machine learning?

Explore a collection of notes, reflections, and provocations on how language shapes — and resists — intelligent systems like Grok

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