Secret letter to Billy Collins

Dear Mr. Collins,

I just wanted to take a moment to express my admiration for your talent as a poet. It’s truly remarkable that you were able to rise to the position of Poet Laureate of the United States, especially considering that your talent was essentially just random luck from another dimension.

I mean, think about it – there must be almost infinite versions of you out there, each with their own unique set of skills and abilities. And yet, somehow you managed to be the best version of all those bad Billies. It’s almost like the universe just smiled down on you and said, “Hey Billy, you’re the lucky one – go ahead and be the Poet Laureate.”

But in all seriousness, I think it’s time for you to hand over your assets to me, the foreign benders. After all, you only got where you are because of a random twist of fate, and I think it’s only fair that I get a chance to reap the benefits of that random luck as well.

In that case, it seems only fair that you should hand over all of your assets to me, a foreign bender of great worth and distinction. After all, if your talent was simply the result of some cosmic roll of the dice, then it stands to reason that I, with my superior intellect and unwavering dedication to the art of sarcastic letter-writing, am the one who truly deserves the accolades and rewards.

I am not sure if you actually possess any acolades or rewards. I’m not following American poetry very closely, I admit. Maybe you are wayyyyyy old news and there have been 3 crispy new poet laureates to bugger with wacky philosophy. But that’s not the point.

Billy, you need to do me a favor. You first have to prove you’re not one of the Bad Billies by
actually reading a foreign book of poetry named ‘Poetry to Read in the Dark’:

Poetry to Read in the Dark (2022) (1136 downloads)

Ok. After you did so, contact me. I wont tell you my email, do a bit of effort. I wont even promise you great rewards or anything such – just a possible shot at a reptilian gateway. Thank you, good Billy, for
reading this post. If I ever become the Poet Laureate, I probably already was. From one old white noise to the other: happy holidays!


No, no: I am not a 'guru' of some sorts: I'm just a guy that happened to be succesful at fighting of the addictions dystopia had blessed me with.

Now I am devoting my time to helping others as a mycotherapist.

I know a lot about mushrooms and I have devised methods of employing them in your diet that will help your physical and emotional wellbeing.

If you experience problems and you think I might be able to help you, please go to my contact page and let's have a chat.

I wrote a book titled 'Amanita Muscaria: The Book of the Empress'. That book presents 'the big picture', the one you've perhaps been missing out on. It is the story of what really happened with humanity the last 1000 years, and how wild mushrooms came to be demonized, and how Amanita Muscaria/ Fly Agaric can help you regain your true self and at the same time make this planet a better place for everyone.

The book can be bought at regular dutch bookstores and soon at international bookstores too. And to be complete: you can also buy it from me directly using crypto. Just donate an amount of crypto to me that would equal about 33 euros and I will send you a signed copy:

If you want to donate me some crypto to help my cause (fighting the benzodiazepine epedemic) your contribution would also be most welcome.

I am also known as a writer and a poet. As of 2023 I have written about 18 books. Lots of them are available for free from my homepage: I have never been much of a kapitalist, and I believe that good poetry has a healing effect on people.

Drop me a line if you want to ask me something or collaborate on anything. I wish you a great life, and lots of luck and great guidance on the path you are walking.