Description
CUCK THE FANON – CALIMERO EDITION
“It’s an injustice, a scandal, a literary racket!”
Behold the tragicomic mascot of the post-postmodern poet: half egg, half enfant terrible. This Substack shirt features our beloved Calimero, clutching his latest Fanon citation while whining about colonial trauma in a coffee bar gentrified out of existence before he was born. He thinks he’s the voice of the oppressed, but he’s mostly just upset he didn’t get the MacArthur grant.
This shirt is:
Perfect for screaming “but it’s unfair!” into the algorithm
Woven from 100% epistemic fragility
Ideal for the poet who cites Derrida but weeps during Disney reboots
Guaranteed to repel grant committees and attract unsolicited DMs from people who call themselves “literary decolonizers”
Wear it to your next Zoom poetry reading and watch the neocolonial wokeniks avert their eyes. Because sometimes, the revolution wears an eggshell.
The 100% cotton unisex classic tee will help you land a more structured look. It sits nicely, maintains sharp lines around the edges, and goes perfectly with layered streetwear outfits. Plus, it’s extra trendy now!
• 100% cotton
• Sport Grey is 90% cotton, 10% polyester
• Ash Grey is 99% cotton, 1% polyester
• Heather colors are 50% cotton, 50% polyester
• Fabric weight: 5.0–5.3 oz/yd² (170-180 g/m²)
• Open-end yarn
• Tubular fabric
• Taped neck and shoulders
• Double seam at sleeves and bottom hem
• Blank product sourced from Honduras, Nicaragua, Haiti, Dominican Republic, Bangladesh, Mexico
Disclaimers:
• Due to the fabric properties, the White color variant may appear off-white rather than bright white.
• Dark color speckles throughout the fabric are expected for the color Natural.
This product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!
Age restrictions: For adults
EU Warranty: 2 years
Other compliance information: Meets the flammability, lead, cadmium, phthalates and formaldehyde level requirements.
In compliance with the General Product Safety Regulation (GPSR), Martijnbenders.nl ensures that all consumer products offered are safe and meet EU standards. For any product safety related inquiries or concerns, please contact us at M.benders@gmail.com or write to us Langenakker 57, 5731JZ Mierlo.
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