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The Funeral

Posted on December 10, 2024 by admin

This article is based on this Dutch article of Martijn Benders

### The Funeral

When bidding farewell to my sister and father, I took their funerals very seriously, striving to craft something meaningful. After all, they entrust you with presenting a final homage to their presence. For my father’s funeral, I incorporated poetry, live music performed by Ton, and poignant pieces of music I had carefully selected.

I am doing my utmost for my mother as well. Quite likely, this will be the world’s first funeral to feature an AI-generated film composed by the son as its finale.

*Still from the film Flowers Count*

Instead of the usual slideshows, this funeral will primarily consist of a series of videos I created and compiled. Using Topaz, I’ve upscaled a lot of old footage and set the entire funeral in a Christmas atmosphere – my mother was born at Christmastime and was a superstar. All of this will be on display.

A white deer with lipstick. In days gone by, capturing that on film would have required significant effort. Now, it’s a matter of generating it. I’ve been collaborating with Leonardo Flow, which is a fantastic tool for designers.

(It’s almost the Adobekiller already, because what Flow offers is simply much better. Firefly feels far too tame, and the censorship is unbearable. I refuse to pay 70 euros a month to be excessively patronized – a truly foolish strategy on Adobe’s part.)

Alright, alright. I’m just typing this in between generations. In about a year, I estimate that a feature-length film of mine will hit the market. But first, the funeral film Flowers Count…

Best regards,
Martinus Benders

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Category: Psychosupersum

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Castles Get Kicked in the Bricks each Summer

Let’s face it: some backpacks just carry your stuff. This one tells your entire life philosophy in one ridiculous, multilingual joke. Imagine strolling into a museum, a bus stop, or your ex's new wedding—with a bag that declares, in ten languages, that castles are always the losers of summer.

Why? Because deep down, you know:

  • Tourists always win.
  • History has a sense of humor.
  • And you, my friend, are not carrying your lunch in just any nylon sack—you’re carrying it in a medieval meltdown on your shoulders.

This backpack says:

  • “I’ve been to four castles, hated three, and got kicked out of one for asking where the dragons were.”
  • “I appreciate heritage sites, but I also think they could use a bit more slapstick.”
  • “I’m cute, I’m moopish, and I will absolutely picnic on your parapet.”

It’s absurd.
It’s philosophical.
It holds snacks.

In short, it’s not just a backpack—it’s a mobile monument to glorious collapse.

And honestly? That’s what summer’s all about.

Philosophy thirts

Feeling surveilled? Alienated by modernity? Accidentally started explaining biopolitics at brunch again? Then it’s time to proudly declare your loyalties (and your exhaustion) with our iconic “I’m with Fuckold” shirt.

This tee is for those who’ve:

  • Said “power is everywhere” in a non-BDSM context.
  • Tried to explain Discipline and Punish to their cat.
  • Secretly suspect the panopticon is just their neighbour with binoculars.

Wearing this shirt is a cry of love, rebellion, and post-structural despair. It says:
“Yes, I’ve read Foucault. No, I will not be okay.”

Stay tuned for more philosophical shirts and backpacks, as we at Benders are working on an entire collection that will make even the ghost of Hegel raise an eyebrow.

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