This article is based on this Dutch article of Martijn Benders
Sometimes, you come across people eager to demonstrate their superior linguistic knowledge. We all know them, the teachers, especially the one who believes there is nothing left for him to learn. Now that the human IQ is declining rather quickly and most people struggle to read books, you see these pedantic types more frequently occupying positions in, for example, the Literary Fund. Such a fellow might then read this passage from my collection:
No sheep
that still wants to carry its cloud.
No horse. No misty corrie
of deer bottoms.
All that
the mind can still bake
is a mossy vale.
(Ginneninne, P 13)
And the know-it-all slams the imaginary red button (which they have pompously mounted next to the entrance at the Literary Fund) and shouts:
THE PREFERRED SPELLING IS: NO SHEEP THAT STILL WANTS TO CARRY HER CLOUD.
And then, as a poet, you get another penalty point. Is this collection an A, B, C, or maybe a D collection? Through a court order, I gained insight into the ‘system’ that the Literary Fund readers use to evaluate books. More on that later.
But ‘his’ can also just refer to the dead dog on the previous page. Oops, see, without any discussion, without substantiation: a penalty point was handed out by a know-it-all, and that penalty point turns out to be unjustified. Moreover, the idea that the sheep does not want to carry the dead dog’s cloud is a beautiful way to indicate that his soul did not want to linger on earth. And also no horse, Pegasus, to classically ascend to heaven or even just the Celtic path through the heavenly deer, who look at us with their backsides.
Of course, I also understand that our teacher is already very annoyed. Baking as a VERB? MOSSY VALE? He almost can’t mark it as wrong. But above all, clearly incorrect, though preferred spelling. The man puts a red cross and delights in his own superior knowledge at the expense of your allowance. And not just this allowance, but also all future allowances, as those will be based on this lowered result from the past. Your collection was only a C, it contained spelling errors. There is clearly a declining trend in your evaluations; you only got a C last time. Anyway, the endless episode of nitpicking that the Literary Fund turned out to be.
Our Spellmaster would love to mark ‘corrie’ wrong too. What is that, a corrie? He doesn’t really care that we’re dealing with Nedergaelic here:
In Scottish Gaelic terms, “corrie” refers to a type of geological formation, specifically a mountain hollow. This term comes from the Gaelic word “coire,” which means a kettle and refers to hollows on mountain slopes often formed by glaciers.
The ‘sheep that no longer wants to carry its cloud’ could thus also be a mountain. Not a symbol of revolution, as you might initially think, but a reference to climate change? Not necessarily, I think. Who ever looked closely at the symbol behind a deer’s bottom?
Exactly, the letter T. Let that letter also feature prominently in the musical adaptation of this poem:
In the Netherlands, “Corrie” can also be an informal abbreviation for the name “Cornelia,” which has Latin origins and means “the horned one,” possibly indicating strength or power.
I find it interesting to engage with my own texts in a composing, musical way. These texts are less suited for ‘normal recitation’ because you cannot appreciate the layers of the work in just a few seconds.
But if your sole aim is to showcase your own superiority, oh, then you best embed yourself within the government and do so anonymously, because you already know that your incredible superiority will yield unbridled aggression and barbarism among the powerless underclass, the jobless, the school dropouts, the scum who didn’t want to follow our superior rules.
We shall see who will have the last word, O Spellmaster, O Suit-Wearer.
Martijn 11-08-2024
