Another typical feature of the brain disease that I have already described in Waarover de piranha droomt in de limonadesloot: in addition to a severely eroded vocabulary and a thought receptor that has played an increasingly smaller role at the expense of the visual receptor – modern man has hardly any functioning evaluation circuitry left, which in turn is the cause of a constant need for external direction (by Google, Amazon, etc.) – well, another typical feature is what I will call concept-blurring.

For example, there used to be the term ‘conflict of interest’. You never hear that word anymore, because central command has invented a much better one: the conspiracy theory. If two business entities make agreements between themselves that you cannot see with the naked eye, you are not allowed to say anything about it, because then you are insane and no one is allowed to take you seriously. Or can you prove that the Dutch supermarket giants have made agreements with the hospitals and that that is why the hospitals’ dietary recommendations are full of Unilever products, with the brand name attached? A conspiracy! Couldn’t it just be a coincidence? Can you prove it?

We actually found the term ‘conflict of interest’ not very useful. It implies that you can prove what kind of agreements were made. That it used to be enough to make something plausible, because in those days people didn’t have hard science – how those primitive people used to mix up alpha and beta sciences! Nowadays we know better, there are no alpha sciences at all, everything can be measured with rock solid accuracy, with multiple choice tests for example.

So, conflict of interest, don’t be silly, you can’t measure that, no. What you can measure is factchecking. That Jansen and Jansen finance facebook’s factchecking is another conspiracy theory, yes well that’s true but your idea that something is corrupt because it is financed by a stakeholder is just, yes, how should we put it. It is immeasurable.

So we live in a world where corruption has managed to become unscientific, thankfully. That Dutch investigative journalists were able to prove a conspiracy between the OMT and test manufacturers, well, can they prove that with measurable results? Can they? Well, I have a reader’s survey here that proves something quite different.

What I have studied? If I happen to be an alpha who doesn’t know very well what science is and what you should and shouldn’t measure and what you should make plausible???? You sound weird, as if you believe that your study was better than mine.

Readership surveys by my faculty show that people consider our study to be essential, so it should stay open from now on. A rock-solid measurement, sir.

I have already been asked for the RIVM.